Emirati Weddings

[Mohamed A.M.]

Have you ever attended an Emirati wedding?

First of all, there are separate weddings for men and women (and they are never mixed). For this reason I can only speak for the men's side of the wedding.

So what is the men's side of the wedding like? It can be summarized by saying all you do is attend, say hi to lots of people then eat food. A LOT of food. The weddings take place after maghrib and isha prayers (8 or 9pm depending on the time of the year).

When you arrive you greet a lot of people the traditional way (shaking hands and nose-touching). The groom and his father are usually wearing a "bisht" which is a black light mesh coat that they wear over the kandoora with golden woven edges. After greeting various people you find a seat and wait for the dinner as you chat with people next to you or people you know. As you wait they serve you with various sweets such as Omani halwa (made of sugar, ghee and spices), chocolates, traditional Arabic coffee, tea, fruit juices, and the list cab just go on on the variety of things they can serve. Some weddings have traditional bands playing music and dancing as well.

Once there are enough guests (or depending on the host's mood) they invite the guests to the dining tables. Everyone stands and heads there. As you sit the common dish on all tables is what we call a "thabiha" which is usually large dishes containing rice topped with huge pieces of cooked goats, camels or sheep. This dish is a must in all weddings. They also serve other traditional dishes, salads, sweets all depending on the choice of the host.

The picture will be a lot clearer if you attend a wedding yourself. If you have an Emirati colleague at work and he is getting married, please don't miss out on attending his wedding. It is an honor for Emiratis to invite the people they know and for those people to attend their wedding.

[Natsume2011]

I think that Men weedings are quite boaring, it's more like a dinner party, the ladies weeding is something else, it's just enough to have the bride!
Now a days it has a lot of simillarities with weedings in west including setting such as stage center peaces, the weeding cake and the bride in the white gown
The uniqueness is that the bride and groom family would have to greet the guests as they come and leave ( Not nice if you wearing high heals or it's during flu season)
the bride dosen't enter the hall till later on say 2 hours after the begining, the guests would go up to the stage to take greet her and take photos while the poor grome who pays the bill often enter at the end to stay for 30 minutes or so and then take the bride and leave
It's a joyus occasion , my theory is the smaller the weeding the better it is as you get sense of intimacy that large extravegant weedings miss
Want to enjoy a true traditional occasion then the Heena day would be more like it, the only problem is that it's often limited to the family members and close friends!

[Mohamed A.M.]

Tell me about it Natsume2011. I do agree that the male side of the wedding can be boring at times (especially if you attend a lot, which is pretty much during wedding season). However if you really get involved (ehm, which I don't usually do) it can be a lot of fun. Just yesterday I was at a wedding in Al Bahia and there was a live band playing the Oud and Tabla very nicely, and the crowd was really dancing their heart out. You could see a lot of smiles and laughs, tons of kids joining the Ayyala (traditional Emirati dance) lots of people swinging thin bamboo sticks over their head and kids running about throwing fake rifles that swing countless of times in the air before it drops and they pick it up. I have to say it was one of the few weddings that I actually enjoyed.

As for the typical ones they have become more of a custom. The "greeting of hundreds of people where more than 80% you never saw before), the awkward waiting till dinner time and then some more awkwardness as you sit on a table with strangers all around.

I also share your thought that smaller personalized weddings with only close relatives and friends are a lot more fun. However, tell any bride-to-be that you want to have a small wedding and what is the response you expect to get? It is tough as well if one family wants to invite all the people they have met since more than 20 years ago. I can summarize the situation with an Arabic quote:

شرٌ لا بد منه (sharrun laa budda minh)
Which in English means "an evil which you can't do without"

In other words due to customs you have to shell out tons of money on things you don't want, don't like, and perhaps others don't like or care about just to save face.